Quick Update

It's been over a week now that we've been in China. 

Although I loose track of days here. 

Yesterday was children's day 

Which is an actual serious holiday in China  

The orphanage had a party to celebrate and we were asked to sing a song and perform a dance. 

We sang God of this City which was emotional 

And for our traditional American dance we performed the Cupid shuffle 

Yes it's weird but I've learned that when in China everything's weird 

Just when you think you've seen it all you see something even stranger than the last time 

The weather has been hot 

And air conditioning is hard to find in China 

In the mornings at the orphanage when we are with the babies, we have a new goal 

That is to get as many babies out of their cribs and into the playroom as possible 

I think we hit a new record everyday 

It's hard sometimes because there's so many babies and not enough of us to hold them all 

Especially now since we have been getting out the more severe special needs kids 

Like Johnny who is missing part of his skull

Or Tyson who we think has either hydrocephalus or a tumor 

But the kids are doing good! 

Now there's always the ones who don't want to be touched 

We are still working on them 

But so many with severe special needs have been in the playroom lately and it's been amazing 

We are hoping to show the nannies that just because they have special needs doesn't mean they need to sit in their cribs all day 

In the afternoons we go to the big kids 

And as much as I love the big kids, they're hard to work with 

There is such a wide range when it comes to the big kids 

You have the pot sitters, you have the crazies who run around the room screaming, and you have the more able children

This year there is a new older girl who is 12 

She came this year

She is so smart and completely healthy yet she's living here 

They said they are rushing her paperwork to try and get her adopted before she ages out 

I just hope that there is a family willing 

Because she will be a blessing to whoever adopts her.

Yesterday we split up the group, five of us took the kids that were able down to do crafts and five of us stayed with the pot sitters 

A lot of the kids surprised me with how well they did the crafts 

All they had to do was put Cheerios onto pipe cleaners but boy do they love it 

I helped Paul who is a little Down syndrome boy do his 

He has come so far since last year when we did the same craft 

Last year he just shoveled the Cheerios into his mouth 

This year he completely got it! 

And he was even trying to show another kid how to do it! 

I also worked with a little boy named Drew 

Poor kid got his name cause he drools a lot 

He worked really hard to get the Cheerios onto the pipe cleaners and he was so excited every time he did 

When it was time to switch I went upstairs with the "pot sitters" 

They had brought them all into the playroom trying to work with them 

The room was kind of depressing 

One little girl had a seizure while we were in there 

Which is the third child to have a seizure on this trip so far 

Another kid threw up multiple times 

While another peed on the floor 

Sometimes all you can do is smile to cover up the faces that you are actually feeling 

Because you really never know what's going to happen next 

We are working on getting information about each child so that we can start advocating for them 

The trip is going by so fast 

Too fast 

And I can guarantee I won't be ready to leave when the time comes 

Please continue to keep us in your prayers! 

Gracie

China trip number 5.

It's weird to think how different everything is from that first trip. 

That first trip we just came with a heart to love on orphans not knowing what God had in store for us. 

This trip we now come with a passion to change the lives of these kids fully depending on God. 

I've been terrible about blogging. 

It's just that by the end of the day I'm so exhausted blogging is the last thing on my mind. 

Day 3 at the orphanage just ended. 

It's been a great trip so far. 

Our team is smaller than most years, which comes with its pros and cons. 

For example a pro would be that we all fit in the elevator or a dinner table and it's not easy to loose people. 

A con would be that it's harder to watch all the kids at once. 

But things have been good. 

So far the kids have seemed a lot better than most years. 

There are not many new babies and a few of the babies are going to be adopted soon. 

For the older kids, a lot of the special need kids are looking better. 

The "pot sitters" as we call them, which are the kids that sit on potty chairs all day because there special needs are too severe, seem healthier this year. 

Healthier in orphanage terms that is. 

One miracle that happened this year was Gracie. 

After 5 years of praying for her,  

And after 11 years of living in an orphanage, 

Today Gracie finally found her forever family. 

Gracie was just a little 6 year old the first time I met her in 2011. 

And ever since then I swear she has not stopped smiling. 

And shouting. 

And laughing. 

She is just the happiest little girl I have ever met. 

I fell in love with her joyful spirit the day I met her

Because Gracie has so many reasons NOT to be happy

But she is 

Gracie finds every reason to smile. 

And she waited so patiently for her family. 

She watched one by one as the other older kids got adopted. 

And she was left behind. 

She wanted a mama and baba so badly. 

I prayed and worried so much for her the older she got. 

I even begged my own parents to adopt her. 

But prayer works.

And boy did it work for Gracie. 

Because after being hosted last summer 

She found her family. 

Today was an amazing day. 

Gracie and her new parents AND her new sister who was also being adopted today from another orphanage came and visited the orphanage. 

We ate lunch with them and Gracie was SO happy. 

Jumping up and down pointing and showing me her new mama and baba. 

I gave her a bestfriends necklace where she got half a heart and I got the other in hopes that she will always remember me. 

Saying goodbye was sad because I knew I would not see her next summer like I usually do 

But it also made me overjoyed knowing she had finally found the forever family she had dreamt about for so long. 

These kinds of things are what give me hope. 

Because a lot of times being in the orphanage everyday seeing how depressing things are for these kids makes you feel very hopeless

But seeing kids find homes after waiting so long makes it all worth it. 

Gracie's dream came true today.

And I hope that with Gods help many other children's dreams of families can come true too. 

Dear Chenzhou

Dear Orphans of Chenzhou, 

I am writing this to tell you that I am sorry. 

I am truly sorry. 

I am sorry that this is your life. 

I am sorry that you sit on a bench 

Or maybe a chair 

Or maybe a crib 

All day. 

Everyday. 

I am sorry that some of you can no longer walk

Maybe because of malnutrition 

Or maybe because you've been sitting so long. 

I'm sorry that you never have enough water to drink. 

Or food to eat. 

Or clothes to wear. 

I am sorry that because you have a special need you are looked at as less than a person. 

I am sorry it feels like God has abandoned you. 

Or let you down. 

And even though you may feel like he has let you down. 

He hasn't.  

His people have. 

And for that I am sorry. 

I am sorry that Gods people feel it is easier to pretend you don't exist than to actually do something. 

I am sorry that millions of Christians will live another day and you will not cross their minds once. 

I am sorry that His people would rather live comfortably than to try and help you. 

I am sorry that you feel unworthy. 

Or imperfect.

I am sorry you feel like a mistake. 

Or a burden 

Or a waste. 

I am sorry you have pain and I am sorry you have scars. 

And I'm sorry you don't have a mommy or daddy to make it better. 

But I want you to know that I love you. 

And God loves you more than you can even imagine. 

He is holding every single one of you in his loving arms. 

He knows you are hurting. 

And he is catching every tear you cry. 

He has a plan and a purpose for you. 

Even if you can't see it yet. 

 Because you are perfect in his eyes.

You are not a burden

You are not a waste

You are not a mistake. 

You are a child of God. 

I want you to know that you are stronger than I will ever be. 

Because even though your life is not perfect.

Whatever perfect may be.

You still smile.

You still sing and dance and giggle.

You teach me how to look at life from a new perspective.

You show me how much I still have to learn about humbleness and thankfulness.

You have completely blown my small, in-my-own-bubble, comfort zoned, mind.

And I can never thank you enough.

So stay strong. 

Don't ever let your scars 

Or disabilities 

Or past 

Hold you back. 

I love you and miss you 

Your friend, Makenna 

The Past Few Days

It’s good to be back.

I truly missed this place.

But it’s sad how much I had forgotten in just 2 years.

How sad an orphanage really is.

Because for most of these kids the “life” that they are living is not a life.

Sitting on a bench with your hands tied up and never moving.

That is not  a life.

And I guess I had forgotten the living conditions of these children.

These children are not living.

They are barely surviving.

And as I walked around the orphanage I am surprised at how easily I had forgotten

The suffering

The tears

The hopelessness

I had forgotten.

I guess I got so caught up in my own life.

My own busy schedule.

My own complaints.

I forgot what it was like.

But it’s not all bad!

There is still light in this darkness.

The nannies still smile.

The kids still laugh and play.

Or at least some do.

And even though there are kids that are worse, there are kids that are better!

Anyway.

Sorry I havn’t posted.

It’s Tuesday night here and I’ve written one blog.

We’ve spent 3 full days at the orphanage now.

In the mornings we play with the babies. We take them from their cribs and bring them down to the playroom. The babies make it a happy morning. There is hope. Because for a lot of the babies we know they will get adopted. Especially the healthy ones. We know that a lot of them will make it out of the orphanage before having to move to the big kid room. I tend to play with different babies each morning. I’ve spent a lot of time with a baby named Sam. He was there as a little tiny baby when we were there 2 years ago. He has down syndrome and is the cutest little thing. He loves to play and roll around on his back and stomach and he also likes to do some strange little scoot crawling type thing he has learned. Sam along with other babies in the morning make me laugh and are a good way to start off the mornings.

After lunch (which has already consisted of one trip to KFC and one to Mcdoanlds) we head back to the orphanage for the big kids.

We learned to split the team into 2 groups. One group takes the kids that can walk and play on their own and the other group takes the more special needs kids. I enjoy both groups of kids. Playing with the less severe special need kids is a little overwhelming because they are crazy. But its also encouraging to see the progress a lot of them have made. Jessie, a little girl who last time couldn’t walk is now running around like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Another encouraging thing is that Daisy and Collin (both kids with down syndrome) and Mikey (a boy with epilepsy) are all older kids and are all learning to write their numbers 1-10. They are all very proud of this talent they now have. 

After awhile our groups switch and I move over to the more severe special needs kids. Playing with these kids can be depressing. It’s a dimly lit room with a bench full of kids just sitting there. Some of the kids sit on potty chairs all day long and never get up. We decided to put diapers on these kids and bring them over to the play room. I was a little upset to see Sadie, a little down syndrome girl not looking so good. Two years ago when we came she was a chubby happy baby with such a personality and now she sat on a potty chair all day long showing no emotion. The hardest part was seeing Penelope. I played with Penelope a lot last year. She does nothing but sit on a potty chair and chew on her hands the entire day. Her hands will become swollen and bleeding if the nannies don’t tie them behind her back for the entire day. When I saw her I untied her hands and sat her up to soon realize that her legs had lost all the muscle in them and she could no longer walk. No longer. She could walk 2 years ago but now there was nothing left but skin and bone on her legs. 

The last part of the day was to give the kids a “special treat” of watermelon. When the nannies brought it out the kids devoured it.  The sight was a little unsettling watching just how hungry these kids were. 

Overall the past few days have been good but hard.

The special needs are just very severe this year.

Tonight we met with a pastor of the local church.

I have lots of stories to tell about that but I will have to share about that later.

Your prayers are very much appreciated.

Please continue to pray!