Day 2 Orphanage

Hard day.

I mean after seeing a little girl grab a little boys face and pull and pinch it and have him do nothing to stop her, I'm kinda at a loss for words.

Or maybe it was seeing an older girl hit a baby in the head with a rattle and laugh seeing the baby cry.

Or maybe it was just everything.

The day started out with us taking the older kids outside to play.

We played with chalk and bubbles.

We sang songs and danced.

It was crazy.

But it was so much fun.

Lunch was at the hotel.

They serve us steamed buns at every meal because they know that us americans like them.

For people who dont know, steamed buns are our favorite food here in China.

They come with sweetened condensed milk to dip in.

They have just started serving them with half a loaf per person because we eat so much!!

Our second trip to the orphanage for the day was pretty rough for me.

I started out in the baby room holding Jake, but he started screaming so i let the nannies have him and went down to the older kids room.

I'm going to try and describe the first thing i saw when i walked in.

I saw a little boy named Tyler sitting on a bench smiling watching the other kids play.

He cant walk so he is forced to sit on the bench all day and watch the other kids run around.

Next to him I see a little girl named Penelope.

She is laying across the bench with both of her swollen hands in her mouth chewing on them.

Because thats all she knows how to do.

All she ever does is chew on her hands.

They have to tie her hands to a chair behind her back so she wont bite them and make them bleed.

On the ground next to the bench is Caroline.

She has something wrong with her brain and she cant walk.

But as soon as she sees me the biggest smile crosses her face.

Next to her sitting on a little pot in the corner is PJ.

All he ever does is sit on his little pot and shake his head back and forth, back and forth.

I have never seen him smile, or walk, or talk.

Because all he knows to do is to sit and shake his head, back and forth, back and forth.

Each one of those kids is so precious.

They are worth so much.

Yet this is there life.

And as i watch two little boys play catch with our translator Steve, i cant help but think, "Why cant they have a daddy to do that with?"

Or as Dora, Lina and i played with each others hair, "Why cant they have a mama to do this with?"

Its unfair.

They don't deserve this.

They deserve a family.

They deserve for someone to tell them they aren't worthless.

That they are beautiful.

That they are loved.

How can i possibly look at my life and not feel guilty for every time i complained.

I have so much.

They have so little.

And i can only give so much.

I realized this as i had seven different children pulling at my arms, hugging me, asking to be held.

I couldn't give any of them enough attention.

Its frustrating.

Not to be a downer or anything.

*sigh*

After the orphanage we went to one of my personal favorite restaurants.

Mainly because it has FRIED BANANA, but i mean the other food is good too.

On the way home we saw one of the ladies that helps in the orphanage singing on the streets for money.

Her voice is so pretty.

Annie and I had a lot of funny dancing to the music and entertaining people on the streets!

Wow, i really love it here.

Two weeks isn't long enough.

Of course i still miss everyone at home!

Happy fourth of July!!