Guilty

Sorry I didnt post yesterday.

Yesterday and today have been back to our normal schedule.

We only have two and a half days at the orphanage left.

Days go by slow but the week has gone by fast.

In some ways it feels like we have been here for a year

But in other ways it feels like we just got here

There are definitely things that I miss

Like texting my friends

Or eating american food

Or some good air conditioning

But every time I find myself missing these things I feel guilty

Because I can leave the orphanage

Go back to America

Where life is easy

But these kids they cant leave

They are stuck here

With no mom or dad

Or siblings

Or friends

And what about the nannies?

We come and work here for two weeks and we think its rough

They work at this orphanage day after day

Giving up there lives for these kids

See why I feel guilty?

Its unfair.

A trip like this, it changes your perspective.

I wish everyone could come and see

Then you'd understand

I wish you could hold a little girl in your arms whose hands are bloody and swollen because she sits and chews on them day after day because thats all she knows how to do

I wish you could play tag with a little boy who has down syndrome and watch him laugh and giggle with joy because youre giving him attention

I wish a little girl would call you mama because youre the only person who has shown her what love is

If you could look around at a room full of kids who have never had a mommy or daddy to brush their hair. Or sing them a lullaby. Or give them a hug and kiss goodnight.

Then you'd understand why my heart is breaking for these kids.

*sigh*

And in just a few days I will be leaving

To go "home"

Leaving these kids behind

My heart hurts just thinking about it

Anyway, life is good here in Chenzhou

Please continue praying for us and the orphanage

Thanks!