Reality

Reality.

It hit me.

And it hit me hard.

Not like a tiny push saying "your back home"

More like a total shove.

Falling head first back into, well, reality.

I had to get used to greasy, fried foods.

A big comfy bed.

AIR CONDITIONING.

The time change.

I mean its taken me this long just to write a blog about it! 

And everyone keeps asking "How was China?"

And every single time I hear those words about 200 different memories flash through my brain.

The orphanage building.

The amazing nannies, that work at the orphanage day after day never giving up.

The kids, who were excited to see us everyday just wanting somebody to hold them.

The tiny babies, who lifted our spirits every afternoon.

Our translator Fawn, who happened to be the perfect 11th member of our team.

The dirty streets, that we walked through everyday to get to the orphanage.

The hotel, where we would squish ourselves into one room so that we could have devotions at night.

The plane ride, that we all hated.

My team, who is more like a family to me now.

That's the problem.

How do I describe all that and SO much more in just a few words?

I can't.

I can't describe the feeling of loving being home, but also wanting to be back in Chenzhou.

It seems that everyone who had been on the trip before expected leaving the orphanage this year would be easier, including me. But we were VERY wrong. In fact, I thought it was harder. The last day is still kind of a blur to me. But what I do remember hurts. I remember looking around at my teammates, and seeing the tears streaming down most of there faces. I remember holding Avery in my lap as she messily ate her watermelon, smiling at me the whole time. I remember Gracie clinging to me, trying to tell me about my teammates who were all crying. She was SO worried about them and didn't understand why they were so upset.

 I remember waving goodbye, for the last time.

And it hurt, more then words can describe.

And every time I think about it my heart aches even more.

Because I WANT to be back there so badly.

I WANT to sleep on a hard bed.

I WANT to eat chinese food.

I WANT to be dirty.

I WANT  to be exhausted.

I WANT to be challenged.

I WANT people to think I'm completely insane for enjoying all of this.

Because I did enjoy it.

And I miss it so badly.

But the orphanage isn't the only thing I miss.

I also miss my team.

Team Chenzhou 2012.

Where 10 totally different people from all over America got on a plane to China as strangers and came back two weeks later as a family.

And I know I will never forget these people.



Shannon (Aka mom)

Molly

Karla

Monte

Amy

Charlie

 

Elyssa

Megan
 

 

 Annie 

 I got to know some more then others.









Elyssa, Annie, Megan, Charlie and I got along really well.

 Almost every day during free time Charlie, Elyssa, and Megan would come hang out in me and Annies room.

 









I had so much fun with these girls. And I don't think anyone will quite understand our inside jokes. I already miss them all so much.










I miss Elyssa.

I miss her sweet smile and funny comebacks.

I miss Charlie.

I miss exploring the Hong Kong hotel with her and always being there to make me laugh.

I miss Megan.

I miss goofing around with her and blogging together.

I miss Annie.

I had so much fun with Annie I don't even know where to begin. She was my roommate, my "true friend." She talked to me at the beginning of the trip, when I was shy. She broke my shell. And I don't know how to thank her. She was always making me laugh, and was always there for me. I love the way we can laugh over anything. I'm so glad I had Annie on this trip. She truly loves God and has taught me so much over the past few weeks.

I loved being with the rest of my group also.

I know God picked every single one of these team members for this trip.

I miss China so badly.

Everything about it.

But I know its going to be ok .

Because I  know God has called me to China.

And so I know I will be back.